I took a drive in my hometown while visiting family for the holidays this afternoon and what to my wandering ears did play, but a succession of songs I noticed were all about love. Not just a few. Every song that played through the damn radio machine during my half hour drive was a love song. Not just some.
Every.Damn.One.
It reminded me of this critique I had gotten over the content of my last post. You see, I write things in my blog like "love is great blah blah blah" and a friend of mine critiqued me and my love lies with the simple argument,
"...love doesn't exist and it's stupid."
Well, I don't have to be a pre-pubescent teenage girl who's listened to too much Taylor Swift to know love is not just something I made up in my overly emotional feminine mind.
It's FACT.
Like a scientifically proven FACT. Studies show when a person 'falls in love" dopamine and nor epinephrine go shitting through your brain like a good solid dose of coke up the nasal passage. Hence why people (mainly Ke$ha) say things like "your love is my drug". And why people LOVE cocaine. They literally fall IN LOVE with it.
Not only has it been scientifically proven that your coke habit and blind addiction to your new boyfriend are totally connected, but when love is lost there are physical withdrawal symptoms. Anyone who has suffered the pangs of a broken heart can attest. You can't eat, you can't sleep, you burst into tears on the subway and in the middle of the street. No? Just me?
But beyond the science (which let's face it, this isn't that kind of blog, I'm not that kind of person, and this wasn't supposed to be a dissertation I just have opinions) the signs and symptoms of a person in love are very clear. I firmly believe that in this case feeling is believing and anyone who claims that "love doesn't exist" has either never actually fallen in love, or has fallen in love and then been so badly burned they suffer from what I like to call PTLD (Post Traumatic Love Disorder). Now they are trying to convince themselves and others as a means of survival to believe love isn't actually real, feelings in general are a figment of everyone's imagination, and we can and should just train ourselves to not have feelings because having the feels means you feel pain so NO MORE FEELS.
And I have so been there.
I had come out a loser in the game of love too many consecutive times over the years and I was benching myself. If you don't play the game, you have nothing to lose right?
Wrong.
I was wrong and it didn't work anyway because a stupid boy came into my life no stupider than any other boy and next thing you know, after almost a whole year of single emotional 'freedom' and being able to separate my emotional being from my logical being I found myself prancing around my room listening to Jo Jo, YES JO JO, in my underwear and I'm smiling randomly like a schizophrenic during my shifts at work. I'm writing blog posts about how "nice" men are and I can suddenly listen to Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is You" without vomiting.
It's disgusting.
Now, I know what you may be thinking. "Lauren, you have been the most single of all the people for years and years, what the fuck do you really know about love?"
Well, Ladies and Gentleman....I don't really know all that much because even those scientists who have researched and made solid conclusions about how love affects us mentally and even physically come up short with explanations for how and why it comes. Just that it does. And it really is the best and worst of all the things.
I may not be the most religious person. But I truly believe love is the closest thing we have to experiencing God.
And it's all around us. I just don't think people look in the right places. Or think that just because it doesn't pan out the way it does in the movies it's not the real thing.
Like where's my John Cussack in adorable 80's garb with a boombox over his head outside my window? WHERE IS HE?
Love isn't always so dramatic. Love doesn't always come in the form of a dozen roses. Love isn't always romantic. My whole life I was so focused on gaining the affections of a member of the opposite sex and failing terribly that I thought I wasn't worthy of it or maybe it just wasn't in the cards for me. OR maybe, just maybe it really didn't exist. Until I opened my eyes and realized I am shown love daily by my family and friends who would do anything for me and love me just the way I am. And have the whole time.
The second I opened my eyes and my heart to it I wanted to focus more on them and the love they were giving me. They taught me everything I know about what love is, how to give it, how to accept it, and how to maintain it. More importantly they taught me how to love myself. They helped me find love in myself so not only did I no longer find the need to chase after it, but it was always around.
Even then, our relationships haven't always been perfect. We have had huge fall outs, we disagree on a million points, sometimes they drive me crazy. Mostly I drive them crazy. It is because I love them I am willing to take the time to work through these problems which in turn only makes our love for each other stronger.
Love isn't perfect. It's not supposed to be. If it looks perfect from the outside you need to take a better look. People are flawed. Love is flawed. It doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It is very real and is found in both trying situations and in the most mundane.
Love is holding your friend while they sob uncontrollably into your arms over the loss of a loved one.
Love is your mother trying to pick the lock of your bedroom door because you've tried to shut her out after a fight.
Love is helping them heat garlic oil up in a spoon like a back alley crack addict to then pour into their ear for their infection and then Web MDing it to make sure they're not just listening to someones terrible home remedy recipe which you know they're totally capable of doing.
Love is compromise, love is picking up on their smell even when they're not around, love is knowing they eat ranch with their french fries.
Love is giving people the key to your weaknesses and praying they don't turn the lock.
Love is a million things and comes in all different forms be it family love, friend love, lover love, one night stand love, and most importantly self love so don't fucking tell me it doesn't exist, because I'll tell you you're irrelevant.
And to turn on the radio.
I'm not the only
Broken Record
